


You're Not Alone

by Silverseeker24345



Category: Free!
Genre: AU, Itunes shuffle challenge, M/M, Pining, Songfic, future kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3595110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverseeker24345/pseuds/Silverseeker24345
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has left Haru behind for college, and he wanders the town feeling alone and reminiscing on a love that was realized much too late. An iTunes shuffle prompt fill to the song You're Not Alone by Saosin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this, but it's cool if you don't. Criticisms welcome. Also super short.

Pairing: MakoHaru

Song: You’re Not Alone by Saosin

Outside in the harsh bustle of winter, the reserved silhouette of a lithe young man, wiry and lean but firm in stature wandered around the chill of the town, being led by curious feet while his eyes focused somewhere in the distance on an unseen objective. The winter always was a hard time for him. The water he often searched for solace in turned to daggers, cold and unforgiving, and this particular winter he found that he was beside himself, without the warmth of his friends who had left him behind, though he understood. Perhaps it was from the loneliness, though he would blame it on the chill numbing his fingers and making it difficult to carry on with his latest masterpiece of swirling greens and golds, a new comfort he had come to realize he needed much too late, realized through painting after painting. He clenched his fists, walking along the boardwalk where he and Makoto had had their first severe fight. Their last fight, really. The one where Makoto had told him that, yes, even he would be going away this time, leaving Haru behind. Leaving Haru alone. 

 

_“If you truly want to stay as you are, I won’t say anything. But if it’s just that you can’t find a dream for yourself, I would want you to find one.” As if it were that easy to find a dream, a future. He had just found his courage to get close to everyone, his desire to thrive was based solely in the support and love he felt for those around him. He had just let himself get close to everyone again, despite the fact that everyone around him left. And now, they were all leaving again. How was he supposed to keep letting himself dream when it only promised change and death and loneliness? He breathed a harsh laugh despite himself._

_“You want me to find one? Is that really something you can find just by looking for it?”_

It was ridiculous, of course. Makoto had been right, he was always right. But it was too late for him to apologize, now. Much too late. He kept on, searching for memories, ghosts across the street. He had nearly seen a bundle of blonde curls bouncing across the street, leading the rest of the group to the beach nearby for a day of sunshine and laughter. The sun had been especially bright on that day, Makoto buying everyone popsicles to keep cool before they decided to move their party to the shoreline, where they could splash around and enjoy the view and the company.

_“Hurry up, Haru-chan! We’re so close!”_

_He was too warm, too happy to even correct the other’s honorific, breathless and smiling more than he was used to then. He snuck a peak over at his mountain of a friend matching stride with him, beaming at him, just as excited, despite his intense fear of the unpredictable ocean. He slowed momentarily, cocking his head. “Makoto?” “I’m okay, Haru. I promise. Everyone is so happy. Just keep smiling, okay? That makes me happy, too.”_

He let out a shallow sigh, and continued, passing the shrine where he and his friends had prayed for good luck on their meets. Occassionally, he and Makoto would make side trips on the way home after school and Makoto would pray for something else entirely, though whenever Haru would ask, Makoto would simply wink at him.

_"It's a secret! Don't worry, Haru-chan, everything is okay."_

_"I wasn't worried. And drop the 'chan'."_

He knew where his legs wanted to go by that point, and he even contemplated turning back around, but the promise of that keen sting of a memory bubbled from his gut and pushed him. Maybe he was a masochist, or just seeking that taste of repentance that memory could bring for his inability to speak the way he had wanted.

_Makoto looked down. They were never unalike, not really. They had fed one another the same safe lies growing up, underlined by the same dangerous hopes. But where Haru’s eyes could betray nothing and everything, painfully quiet and painfully honest, Makoto’s warms green ones swirled with false happiness, a brave lie that lingered behind Haru’s ribcage. They sat on swings, adjacent to one another, though stagnant and low._

_“So, you’re going to Tokyo.” Blue bore into that wall of warmth, trying desperately to break down those walls, begging to be let in. He was met with a firm resistance._

_“Yes. I mean, I guess we both knew that this day was coming. Still, I’m sad.” The façade was breaking, and all too soon a rush of fear surged through Haru. That wall he had only moments before wanted to see fall promised him a change he was unsure he could handle. There was an ocean in his ears, his heart slamming into his chest._

_“Yeah. I’m sad too.” He closed his eyes, welcoming the ease of the dark behind his eyelids, a small escape from the weight of Makoto’s gaze._

_“Hey, Haru? I want to be selfish for a minute, okay?” Haru’s eyes opened and he gave a slight nod before he even realized.“I just might not get to tell you later.” His walls were falling fast, that heavy happiness making way for a melancholy gaze both bitter and sweet and a breath of fresh honest hair._

_“I’m in love with you.”_

 

Haru had been drifting as of late. Without the others, without Makoto, he really had nothing to live for. Not to say he was giving up, but his drive, his fulfillment had left. He was alone. He was no longer free.

_“It’s meaningless without you.”_

A tall, broad-shouldered silhouette at the Evergreen Park caught his eyes. While it was not impossible that it was who he wanted to see, it was improbable. Unlikely. Still, the promise of a ghost had his feet lifting off the ground, his lungs breathing hard and pushing him forward, even for the chance to pretend he was not alone. For that taste of freedom, that hope he had been missing.

_Him pulling Makoto out of an unforgiving ocean, heart pounding, certain that he was moments away from losing his lifeline._

He ran forward, slowing only once he saw the mess of soft mousy locks and a smile that should have reached those green eyes. He felt his feet might give out beneath him. He knew it was dangerous to hope for a return. Things had drastically changed, and they would never go back to the way they were. Though maybe it was time to try to embrace this new freedom. This new change.

_Makoto laughing. Makoto crying. Often both because of him. Giving him the little toy dolphin, begging him to find a dream, forgiving him when he could not be kind, forgiving him when he could not be happy._

He clenched his hands into fists, chest heaving while he attempted to catch his breath. He had no idea why the other was back here, without so much as a phone call, though it had been months since they had lost touch. Months since that confession, met by a stunned silence and a crushing goodbye. Haru felt winded, clenching and unclenching his fists. 

_He opened his mouth, but his words betrayed him._

_“Makoto, I-“_

_“It’s alright, Haru. I didn’t tell you for a reaction. I have to go, but I couldn’t leave without you knowing.”_

“Haru?” A small, weathered smile, not quite meeting those beautifully distant eyes.

“I love you, too, Makoto.” He watched his tears disappear into the snow, angry hot trails breaking out of his throat, sure that it was too late by now, but he persisted. “It’s meaningless without you, too.”

For a brilliant moment, the walls came crumbling down, and the sun rose in a smile, brighter than anything Haru had ever seen. He felt arms crash around him, a firm chest protecting him from the rest of the cold world, at least for a little while. Protective hands rubbed soothing circles into his back.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You’re not alone. I’m here now. I’ve always been right here.”


End file.
